A New Robinson

We have been talking about it for while, but I have not posted it here. There is a new Robinson. He or she is quite small now: about the size of a peanut. However, he's no less a person. He doesn't really have a name yet as we don't know the sex. He does have one, though. Do doubt about that. People has been suggesting that it is going to be a girl because Courtney is feeling more morning/all-day sickness with this one. From what I have read there is limited scientific evidence. We are excited about the possibility of a new girl or boy and a new niece or nephew. That is right folks. Upon calling Krystl to announce our addition, she said that she was also pregnant. We are excited for her and Dan. I think my Dad can already feel the money leaking out of his wallet to buy new baby stuff. Both are due in the beginning of February!

What do you want?

 I only want one thing, and that's purity of heart.

More Bonfire Reflections

I had a good lunch with one of my friends today. One of the things we talked about was the spiritual and psychological funk I seem to be in. I feel like I am coming out of the fog, but it seems to be a slow process.

It all started while I was reading Bonfire. As I saw into the minds of the various men portrayed, I began to realize their resemblance to myself. This is particularly true in a few of areas.

One is the way I seek to impress my colleagues. I hate to admit it, but I can see where I am often posturing to make the most favorable impression. I don't usually lie or falsely portray myself, but I do "put my best foot forward" most of the time. It is pure hypocrisy.

The second is the way appearance and sexuality plays into relationships between men and women from spouses to on-the-side girlfriends to attorneys and jurists. It is pervasive. It is the righteous man who this does not afflict. Now this is a sensitive issue. I am a married man, and I am 100% faithful in deed. But I have to admit, that I do commit adultery in my heart. Christ was the first I know of to say that what counts is lust in the heart. Tom Wolfe's insight into this area is disarming: he clearly demonstrates the connection between adultery of the heart and real adultery. It made me realize how shallow my righteousness really is.

Lastly, Wolfe keenly unwinds a story where small steps of deception completely overtake ones life. Secrecy and deception are evil. It is no wonder Satan is called the father of lies. I am a relatively honest man, but I have had my times of deception and dishonesty and they have near torn me apart on the inside. I am thankful for the grace of God and his mercy in sparing me the consequences of this lifestyle.

As I read the book, I wrestled with what to write here. When I started this blog, I wanted to be completely honest. Holding back on how the Spirit was showing me my sin in these areas felt like real deception. How could I write candidly and leave out the stirrings of my heart? No doubt, it would the hight of hypocrisy. Intentionally confessing a little earnestly is worse than not confessing at all. It makes people think you are holier than you really are.

I can't say that I am 100% transparent yet, but I am working on it. I am sure I am a worse sinner than I even know. Thank God for Christ.<!-- technorati tags start -->

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I have all the time in the world

I was listening to some good ol' classical music on public radio tonight when I heard a short fact about Frederick the Great.  It said that he was a flute player and wrote concerto's for himself.  However, he had to "punt" when the pieces required quick finger movements.

This made me think of my own experience playing the trumpet.  It is really amazing what you can train your body to do if you practice.  With singluar devotion it almost seems that you can accomplish anything.  

I proceeded to lament my limited time to pursue things like history, painting, trumpet, guitar, poetry, etc.  Then, I was struck with the reality that I had all the time in the world.  I have eternal life, and I have eternity to explore the wide boundries of the life God has given me.  A second time, I was struck with the one thing that I have now that I will not have in the new creation: the lost.

There are people around me with whom I will never have the chance again to share the good news of Christ.  More worshipers for my King are to be gathered.  More slaves are to be freed.  While it may not be my calling to devote myself 100% to this task, I cannot ignore it.

Narnia on Tour in Austin

Importance of Lions, Witches, and Wardrobes
Presented by JOEL
President of Academic Services at Concordia University and
author of the forthcoming book Irrigating Deserts: C.
S. Lewis on Education
(Concordia, Fall 2005).More Information 

Beto Academic Center - Concordia University (Austin, TX)

Where are all the deep thoughts? - Bonfire of the Vanities

They are there, and they have been in my head. It is almost more becuase I have been thinking so much that I have not blogged. Sometimes it seems like my inability to accurately record my thoughts encourages me to just let them pass by without any record. Pretty stupid, huh?

Much of my time has been being spent finishing up Bonfire of the Vanities. It is really a great book. I learned much, and it was a thrill to read. Some things I thoght about are:

  • My Sin
  • New Yorkers
  • Local Politics
  • Being a man in the 20th Century
  • The relative value of money
  • The power of money
  • The power of pride
  • The press
  • How to read fiction
  • How to write fiction
  • The way we lose our dreams
  • How much a part of life sex is

To tell the truth, it put me in a bit of a funk. Nevertheless, I want to write a full review. I will be at least piecing it together as Courtney and I talk about it. She is currently reading it.

Site Update - Take II

As you may notice there is a slightly new look. Last night I was taken in by the upgrade bug, so I upgraded to drupal 4.6. It seems that the upgrade is not flawless. Several of the database tables did not upgrade, so I ended up doing the whole thing again tonight. Yipee.

I changed themes to gain another column for blocks of different information. I'm not quite sure what to put there yet, but I am sure it will be useful. Right?

Anyway, it is all working, and it is time for bed.

Little Men

Little Men

Originally uploaded by bheathr.

Isn't this a great pic. Look at the seriousness of Gage and Soren way in the background. They look like boys being transformed into men.

That they are. Bit by bit they are becoming men. I see it peek out from undering their shallow view of life. My task, I think, is to discern the seed of a man that God has planted in each one.

I am to nurture that seed and watch in amazement as God makes them into men that I could never be and might even never choose to be. It is so easy to drift into raising them to be the men I wish I were. I want to prepare them now to more fully fulfill my own dreams.

No dobut God has dreams for them, but they may not be mine. While God does teach me now through them, I look forward to the day when I can learn from them.

Sunset Boulevard


It was entertaining, and thoughtful for the time.  It just seems that thoughtful movies are more more prevelant now. Sunset Boulevrd centers on the process of a starving screenwriter becomming a kept man and despising himself and his woman every step of the way. Life can be deceptive. Comfort is a particularly deceptive friend.

Apocalypse Now


Wow!  Much food for thought here.  The main theme seems to be the contrast between rationality and irrationality.  In the end, rationality is connected to hope, and irrationality is connected to a kind of hopeless, amoral, but powerful existence.  The film paints a struggle between the two with love and the rational narrowly defeating the irrational.