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Courtney and Conversation

By heath - Posted on 09 April 2006

There are very few things in this world I love more than a good conversation. I suppose, then, it is no surprise that my wife and I were conversation partners before we were anything romantic. In fact, it is to her that I owe much of my conversation skill. Hopefully, she will be happy to take credit for that.

It is her reluctance to speak on so many pseudo-dates (its a long story) that forced me to lead a conversation. Our early relationship was dominated by conversations about TV, movies, school, and politics. As our relationship grew romantically, I had to work hard at conversation and conflict.

I had grown up in a relatively conflict-free environment. For the most part, I was shielded from conflict between my parents, and I, as a very compliant child, found it easy to relate to my understanding parents. Courtney, however, knew much more of conflict. Although, that does not mean she dealt well with it. Conflict caused her to close up. I did not like conflict, so I sought to resolve it. This meant that I had to pry her heart open with words. I will admit that my work caused some damage. But, I think, in the end, more healing has been accomplished.

The second way Courtney has greatly contributed to my conversation skill is in the breadth and depth of my conversational range. She basically introduced me to culture. She, and some under-appreciated English professors at UMHB and Temple College help me understand literature, music, and film. Thanks to C.S. Lewis and other Christian apologists my mind and faith were beginning to integrate. Courtney helped me do this with respect to aesthetics. I have learned so much from her, and she has opened my eyes to beauty that I would never had known. There are few things more exhilarating about which to converse than beauty. This idea of beauty has worked its way into other areas of my thinking as well. In the end, it is the awesome beauty of Christ that we are all yearning to behold.

Finally, Courtney has been one of the main instruments of God's sanctifying work in my life. So many times, she has shown me my true colors. At the sight of which I could only repent. She is an honest, and usually trustworthy knife with which God cuts away at the billowing celluloid of my pride. There is nothing better in conversation than to be thruly humble. I pray that God will eventually accomplish his work in this area.

I can't help but mention one more thing. Courtney has birthed to me 3 absolutely wonderful boys. I could go on for days talking about them. Through them, God is constantly providing deeper insight into my nature and his own.

Husbands out there, "Love your wives." Talk to them. Trust God and open yourselves to them. Don't be afraid. Your dignity comes for Christ not your wife. Love her, do not need her. If trust God and speak, he will not fail to surprise you in how he can take care of what you need. The courage you gain by talking to your wife will give you the courage to be a man in many other areas of your life.

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It is such a joy to watch God developing beauty in so many areas of your life and in Courtney's. I am so thankful for your willingness to submit to God's work in your lives. I love having the privilege of observing. I pray that I will be as submissive to His sculpting and molding in my life.

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