heath's blog

Well, I finished Blue Like Jazz (BLJ) tonight. I think Dave mentioned it to me a couple of years ago. I wish I had read it then. Most of the ideas are things I have heard through other sources. I think I particularly liked his thoughts about living with the hippies and the confession booth where they confessed to their classmates.

I think I would really like to go to his church. In large part, I am very much like him. One way that I am not is that I am married and I am not a writer. It seems to me that the church really needs some regular Joes like me to live the Gospel. In some ways it will look similar to the thoughts in BLJ. It is one thing to be a missionary, pastor, writer/speaker and forge a path of discipleship. It is another to live in a mid-sized town in Texas, work 40-50 hours a week and have a family to support and find a way to live a righteous and holy life to God. Should I serve more? Should I give more? Should I work less? Should I buy less? Should I...Should I...Should I. It is almost enough to make one want to give up.

Incidentally, my good friend, Rusty accused me of worshiping an idol with my desire to live such a life. It is so hard to ferret out the line between really fighting against fear and wanting to live a life of radical discipleship and making such a life an idol and worshiping it apart from the living God.

I am not sure about his conclusion. It is hard to live a free life. Even when I think about my children, they get jealous and end up being suspicious of us playing favorites. I am particularly thinking of my two-year-old. It starts young. I can see this in myself. I hate it, but I often begin to compare myself to my peers when I see their stuff or find out how old they are. Why can't I be free?

Miller in BLJ talks about learning to accept love. This is the struggle of the Christian life. It is hard to believe the kind of love that God has for us. We almost refuse to believe it. I can see that I have often rejected it. I feel like I need to do something to repay God. This is just not true. Why can't I get that through my head!?

I just started reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. It is a really good book. It is fun to read because I recognize so many of the thoughts and themes as things I have thought before but never put down. I can see that we have both had similar influences. However, we have gotten them from really different places.

Late, the night before Christmas Eve, we got a message from a strange voice asking about Santa Pal. She said that one of her children did not receive her gifts. I was suspicious, but Courtney called and left a message. Early Christmas Eve, the lady called back. Courtney asked if she meant the PDI Christmas for Families (CFF) program.

For some stupid reason, I decided to update the software that runs my blog at the busiest time of the year. Not surprisingly, there were some difficulties. That is why some of you might have seen a strange theme or blank front page.

Every quarter or so, PDI, the company I work for, has a staff meeting. Kirk Fischer, one of our VPs usually gives an inspiring presentation of some sort. It is always good, but this time I really think he hit on something.

For Advent, I am reading the year B readings from lectionary in the PCUSA Book of Common Worship. I am really enjoying reading scripture. It is exciting to see connections between the readings in different parts of scripture throughout the week.

I thought this was pretty funny. I fit some categories and not others. I seem to be a square peg in a round hole pretty much everywhere I go. I felt like that at church today.

On many occasions I have wanted a device that I have yet to see invented. I suppose I could write the software for my Pocket PC, but I am not sure that would suffice. I'd prefer a special device.

For those of you who know the Millers, their new daughter was born yesterday mourning. Click through to Mark's blog to see the announcement.

I often here people say things like, "It is a relief to hear that he actually argues with his wife." My question is, "Why?" It seems like we really should be sad. Our brother is suffering under the power of sin. Ought we not